It is our joy that you, as a member of fabfrugal community, live a fabulous and frugal life both in your singlehood and in marriage. We want you to be a smart wealth manager so much that you are not in any way lacking money in your day to day affairs. And that is why we take relationship matters seriously too because who you marry determines what kind of life you will live in marriage.
It is important for a couple to be on the same page when it comes to financial values. So whether you’re still single, searching or engaged, these red flags will open your eyes to know if you’re hooking up with the right person or not. You as a mom, can as well teach your sons and daughters so they don’t get stuck with the wrong partner.
1. Refuses to Talk About Finances
If anyone tells you (s)he hates to talk about money in this 21st century, you should run away from such. (S)he is a joker! How can you not talk about money when it’s what keeps the world going? Money clothes, feeds and keep you hale and hearty. How will you hate to talk about it?!
It is okay to not want to talk about money in the initial stages of dating/courtship; in fact, it would be awkward if someone displayed too much interest in your finances right at the beginning. But displaying an unwillingness, irritability or anger while talking about money after a few months/ years of dating is a definite warning sign worthy of note.
However, your man can be reluctant to talk about money if you earn more than him but that shouldn’t be without taking definite actions to be better or want to take up some reasonable responsibilities. If after you have tried counselling or engage him in money talks to no avail, it is best to snap out of the love hook and move on because it would not get any better if you eventually get married. Money not infidelity is number reason for divorce according to this survey here.
2. Too Comfortable With Debt
Believe me, it is not everyone that spends wisely and carefully as you do. Some are big spenders with little or no investment. These set of people will easily run into debts and not care much about it. If your man or woman is not disciplined about debt and bill payments, it is best you talk about it and find out if they can change.
You can also help them by going shoppig together, making investments together and of course setting saving goals together. If they are however still not opened and disagree with your suggestions, it is important you split ways because he may not change even in marriage.
3. Never Offers To Split Bills On Outings
It is common for the guy to pay on the first two or three dates especially in Africa. But if after four or five dates, your partner shows little inclination to share the bills, take it as a sign of overdependence or that (s)he is not serious about the relationship.
Unwillingness to split bills especially huge amount of money does not only reflects scant respect for the partner’s commitment and money, it could also mean your partner is not earning too well or saving enough. Especially for guys, it could be that he is a gold digger who is not fully interested in the relationship. If this continues for long, it’s a good idea to move on.
4. Tell Lies About Money
Lies, no matter how safe and sweet it may sound is a form of infidelity. And it can ruin your relationships if care is not taken. If your partner is not sincere about his source of income and his important expenses, it can lead to a threat on your own life someday or even result to serious consequences like upsetting the family budget, or failure to achieve some family goals like house building project, car purchase, children’s school fees and so on. So when you notice this trait early enough, you’re lucky and should talk to your partner about it. If he/she improves and becomes more open, you can continue, but if not, move on.
5. Has no Saving Goals
Whatever a man will do in marriage, you will know while he is still single because dating brings out the best in a person while marriage brings out the rest! So imagine, If he does not like to save money today, he will not embrace it in marriage. The worse is if he has been working for a while with nothing to show for it, either as physical or financial assets. If your partner could not strive to save up to 30% of his or her income in a month especially since s/he is still single, then you should ask questions. It shows lack of financial planning, which could lead to poor money management or inability to meet financial goals in marriage.
So, please, never be caught with a wrong partner! You deserve a fabulous lifestyle and marrying the right person for your money personality will aid this. Kindly note, this is just 5 out of the numerous red flags to watch out for when it comes to finances in your relationship.
Has it enlightened you in anyway? Why not share your relationship experience with us here and how you discussed finances while dating?
We hope to bring you more red flags in our future posts. Do like, comment and share to enlighten others. Follow us also on our social media on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.