The joy of every parent is to have a child who is their friend and as well takes after them in good manners especially beyond the period they live with them. There is this craving in you that wants a great relationship with your children. You want to know what your child thinks and passes through every moment. You want to know them and share in their daily life.
But it can be very difficult to engage children in meaningful discussion if we do not have the right approach. This is because, children require you to find the simplest means in just the right way to get them to open up and share their heart with you.
You’d be surprised how many things can happen in a day and our children don’t always know how to communicate their fears, their victories, and their questions. That’s why these tips on engaging your children are super helpful.
1. Ask them questions: Asking the right questions is one of the most powerful positive parenting tools we have as moms. In fact, if we spent more time asking questions instead of lecturing and telling our children how they need to think and behave, we’d learn so much about our children.
For example, you can ask open ended questions about their day at school, church service, or just plain fun questions that can keep a conversation flowing; such as:
• What was the funniest thing that happened to you today? Let the follow up to this question be why was this funny to you? Let the answers to your questions give you more questions to ask them.
• What makes you feel scared or alone?
• How did you help someone today?
• If you could be the teacher tomorrow, how would you do things?
• What subject is the hardest for you?
• Did anyone upset you? How?
• Did you make a new friend today? What was their name?
• If you could change your name, what would you name yourself? Why?
• If you could change anything about your family what would it be?
• If you could change anything about your life what would it be?
You can also inculcate in them the habits of looking after you too. Just like telling them how your own day went. With that, it won’t be a one-way interrogation. They get to know about your jobs, your health and unconsciously, you build in them an act of care and love.
2. Watch their favorite movies with them: when you watch movies with your children, you get to know what gets them excited or makes them sad. The characters they admire in their favorite movie could have a lot to do with their personality and temperament. Ask them why they prefer a character or a scene over the other. Just like my sons, they love superhero movies. So, I have to watch the fighting scenes with them. And I realized that they like anything that has to with strength and taking actions.
3. Put educational or vocational materials around them. You can place a piano, guitar, or other vocational tools in the house or buy newspapers, books and place on the table. Observe them as they make their choices. Find time to talk about whatever they choose and why. You can achieve this while reading with them, playing keyboard with them or probably anytime you see them at it. Be interested in their decision and choices of things in the house, at school or any other places and watch them connect with you easily.
4. Go out with them. You can take your children shopping or any suitable event. Ask them their opinion about the shops and the goods sold there. Do they appreciate events or if they had their way, what would they change about the event? This will help you know how they think and the kind of lifestyle they appreciate.
5. Allow them to make decisions. Let your children choose their breakfast or dinner whenever you feel they can. Take them with you to the kitchen and cook together. With this, you get to know their favorite food and how well they appreciate meals.
These and many other ways are what you can do to spark a healthy relationship with your children. You will be able to instill in them that they matter too. It will build their confidence in discussing matters with you as their parents
And much more, you’ll be their go-to-person anytime they need help or advice. If you create time to understand and engage them in helpful discussion often, you will be their best pal. Remember it’s How To Engage and Build Healthy Relationship With Your Children not in the quantity of time you spend with them but the quality of it. What you achieve during those little moments you spend with them matters most.
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Do you have some special questions you ask your kids to get them open up to you? How else have you been creating a bond with them? Please share them in the comments below!